Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Socialist USA Today – Snapshot Review

Here are several snippets from recent issues of America's most widely read and therefore most intelligent newspaper, which conquered the hotel before pioneering a revolutionary and democratic approach to sports and sometimes sociopolitical commentary that welcomed voices from the greatest intellectuals on Twitter and Facebook.  USA Today specializes in

elongating 2-sentence stories that nobody cares about to 12-paragraph articles, often urging the reader to be green and save the planet, that take up half a page,

racebaiting (they're still playing the White Hispanic guilt card),

providing useless and incomprehensible information in little sidebars that outline the results of ambiguous surveys of generally 1000 Americans out of 300 million, whose identities are often hard to ascertain: e.g., how many of these "846 teens age 17-18" are actually college students?

and giving the rundown on boring and trivial crime, sports, charities, recycling, sports, and crime local to various towns across Obama's 57 states.  Does anyone actually read this page?

Now I'll just make like Nicholas Fehn and give my "skewed view" on the paper's major stories.

Nonsensical, Hollywood metaphors...

How about "not turning kidnappers into celebrities and diverting the attention of low-information Americans from issues of real, national importance"?

How in the world did Lara Croft get her face on an article about gene patents and homosexual marriage?  Make that two articles.

Is she talking about food, sex, or a book?

Here we're supposed to gush and swoon at the sight of the first lady and a U.S. Senator mingling with a philandering party animal, but he's a Prince!! so it doesn't matter.

This is a crime against puns.

When did voluntarily "resigning" turn into "getting sacked"?

Almost half of USAT's readers think USAT botched its reporting on the Gosnell infanticide trial.

USAT Facebook reader consensus: Murder is wrong because it's illegal, not illegal because it's wrong.  Oh, and it was unsanitary.  Pools of blood everywhere, body parts stored in jars - if you're going to kill a human being, don't make a mess out of it.  Gore is for R-rated movies and shooter games, not abortion-related news stories.

Gosnell's worst crime by far: having the carelessness to slaughter infants and violate women's wombs in a dirty, unattractive environment.  Had he only hired more experienced people to perform "medical procedures" like sticking their fingers in the woman's uterus and killing whoever's in there, this scandal would never have come to fruition.

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