Friday, November 8, 2013

Pithy, Random Thoughts

* A fashion reflection on prom/homecoming from a male who has little sense of what's fashionable and will never go to prom/homecoming:

* Objective, Method, Data, Analysis/Conclusion – Few would bother to question so standard a structure, but bringing a predetermined ‘objective’ into any kind of experiment is the root of all politicized science.

* If Carrie’s mom is a “religious zealot”/fundamentalist, and a fundamentalist is one who accepts the fundamentals of something, and that particular something happens to be the Holy Bible, and the Holy Bible teaches as a fundamental that we must be fruitful and multiply, and that to be fruitful and multiply we must of biological necessity have sex, and Carrie’s mom believes that God forbids sex in any circumstance, thus vowing human extinction despite numerous instances in both the New and Old Testament where God intervenes to save his people from annihilation by the earth or their own hands, and the extremism of that supposedly Christian but avowedly heretical belief is the entire basis for the stupid story, then the obvious conclusion is… what kind of dope was Stephen King smoking and how does anybody take him seriously?

* Moreover, how does anybody take a guy seriously who chooses to publish a direct sequel to a book he wrote more than 30 years ago which got an acclaimed movie adaptation at the time and didn’t need a follow-up?

* On twerking at school dances: isn’t the whole idea of a high-school dance to demonstrate, by a kind of rite of passage, that you’re dignified, mature, and respectful enough of the opposite sex to enter the world of adults?  But then I’m just a homeschooled introvert speaking here, so what do I know?
“They should let the kids do whatever they want”, even if it entirely defeats the purpose of the event.

* Scratch that last comment.  Having just watched Grease for the first time, I can say with certainty that high-school dances, both formal and informal, have nothing whatsoever to do with maturity, dignity, or respect, at least in so far as I’m deriving my worldviews from fictional movies that glorify drunkenness and debauchery.

* I hate generic, nonpartisan internet comments.  “I want the same health care Congress is getting.”  “People, we need to stand up and send our elected representatives a message: that they cannot take whatever they want, that we will vote every incumbent out next midterm because this, this is our land!”  “I’m a fill in my personal background who went to my doctor/got a pay cut last week/tried to apply for blah blah blah, and this economy is killing ME.  I really hope that Congress takes my totally irrelevant anecdote into consideration and makes the tough choices to help me and my family.”  “Where are the JOBS???”

* On “bullying” between footballers in the locker room: How do two grown men and professional tacklers go about “bullying” each other anyway?

* Earth to A&E: everyone liked the Robertson clan well enough before they all got Twitter accounts that pop up invasively during the program and started turning into a bunch of yuppies who play on gadgets or do yuppie things around town.  Let the rednecks be rednecks; break out the shotguns, frog chest, and fishing nets again.  And put away the wives’ makeup already; they don’t need it.

* All these football players donning pink accessories to “raise awareness” for some human ailment look like idiots.  How about you privately put aside a large cut of your $1M paycheck to research breast cancer instead of flaunting how compassionate and concerned you are for sports spectators who couldn’t care less.

* Before we fire literally everybody currently in Congress regardless of the politician’s voting records, respect or loathing for the Founding, and other merits or lack thereof, let’s fire literally everybody in the Vikings and the Giants.

* Just when I thought Once Upon A Time couldn’t get any more insulting to my intelligence, Mulan decides out of the blue that she’s really a Merry Man inside and gets a crush on Sleeping Beauty.  Thanks a lot, ABC, for your commitment to romantically depicting sexually deviant behavior even if it doesn’t enhance the plot or logically follow from the characters’ past decisions.  Why don’t you add a character dying from AIDS to the story while you’re at it, or have a bear eat Goldilocks after she gets busy with it, or make Prince Charming a polygamist.  Oh, wait, he already is.  This deserves a Hagaaaaay.

* Correction: My mom suggests the reason why Mulan reacts so miserably to the news of Sleeping Beauty’s pregnancy is because she’s secretly in love with her friend’s prince/husband/boyfriend/partner.  This explanation of the scene is far more probable and logical given previous episodes, but the acting and directing are both so bad that the resulting product looks like a botched coming-out scene.  “There’s something I need to tell you…”

* 5 episodes in, Marvel’s Agents of Shield is still one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen, so stupid that it might warrant a full review in the future, once I review the beloved animated fantasy Avatar, of course.

* I really haven’t been watching that much TV, contrary to what this post might suggest.

* I spend most of my free time playing video games instead.  Ba Dum Ching.

* Starbucks is urging “Congress”, and we all know whom that indicates, to “come together” and work out their issues to pass responsible reforms to the broken and ineffectual establishment they run.  You first, Howard Schultz.  Rest assured that my military-style assault weapons aren’t coming anywhere near your business until you stop running your mouth on matters your weak mind can’t comprehend.

* Moby-Dick – sucking up countless hours of students’ lives since Melville made a last-minute decision to put a 1st-person narrator and 10-page plot into the Encyclopedia Britannica of Cetology and Whaling.

* Even though virtually nothing happens until its 135th chapter, Moby Dick still beats the crap out of Starbucks.

* See what I did there?

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